


The Stressing of Knowledge

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Manipulative Peter Pettigrew, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-09
Updated: 2005-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26193937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	The Stressing of Knowledge

Everyone who _really_ knows Sirius Black knows how he looks at Remus Lupin. They see the way his eyes always flutter a little on first sight, checking to see if Remus is there—as if he’s afraid Remus could just disappear in the blink of an eye. On second sight the glow comes into his features, as if Sirius had been touched by some holy light. And when he puts his arm around Remus’ shoulder, his words become more animated and his gaze flickers constantly to his side. In that look there is unmistakably love, and only slightly more subtle, adoration. Anyone who _knows_ Sirius knows how he worships Remus—in sunshine, rain, through letters, on his skin at night. Remus knows it too. Remus doesn’t know what Sirius looks like after the full moons, not like the others that _know_ do—too broken to open his eyes, to sense beyond half-heard words.  
//perhaps there’s room there, but not likely// But he must have some idea, how afraid, protective and gentle Sirius gets. Sirius cares for Remus after the moon like a child would a broken doll. But Sirius won’t forget about Remus like children do their ruined toys. Remus is a constant, not a temporary, everyone can see it in Sirius’ eyes, a _this is how it has to be_. And everyone except the Slytherins loves Sirius Black no matter what he does, so they never think anything against him or throw threats and whispers about.

Everyone who _actually_ knows Remus Lupin knows how he looks at Sirius Black. They see the faint lines of hardship on his young face lighten, his mouth turn upwards. They see how he looks at Sirius, with love sure enough, but also with something far more surprising. It seems as if only to Sirius he is completely open, no secrets to hide or fear. His gaze suggests that someone has finally figured out the enigma that is Remus Lupin, even though everyone knows no one ever will. Sirius hasn’t realized this, for some reason, but Sirius does know what he means to Remus. //that might be hard// Because quite honestly _anyone_ who knows Remus can tell, as everyone knows what he used to be like. That presence that seemed to fade each day finally stopped fading. Finally, as if he found a pillar to lean against, he stopped slipping bit by bit each time you looked at him. Maybe that’s why Sirius always double checks to see he’s there, waiting in fear for Remus to start sliding again. Remus is still a puzzle, but for Sirius he offers to be figured out, to finally let someone untangle the strings that hold him together like a rag doll. When Remus is alone though, his silence and kindness don’t save him from the taunts of—not just the Slytherins who he hates—his classmates who he respects. //and there could be room there//

Everyone who _understands_ James can tell what he thinks of Sirius and Remus. Sirius is his brother, has been since the first day they met. Remus is a solid friend, a source of wisdom and mischief that never tells a secret. He shows no outward resignations over the two of them being “together” and thus must feel none inwardly because that’s how James Potter is. Always one for saying what he means and leaving his thoughts proudly on display for the world. //maybe there’s room there// He picked up on the game quickly and said fair enough, Sirius hadn’t stopped being his brother and Remus was still the same to him. Why waste time being upset or disgusted about it when he could be wooing Evans? He handles it all with indifference except for the fact that he’s happy his mates are happy. One time Remus was being roughed up a little by some Ravenclaws, and James did his duty by hexing them to hell and back. He never thought as to why though, //that could come in handy// and it doesn’t always occur to him that people don’t accept his friends as well as he does—this of course aided by the fact no one begrudges Sirius, who James spends more time with.

No one ever knows what Peter thinks, perhaps because no one cares enough to really _know_ Peter like he does his friends. No one asked him what he thought of Sirius and Remus, no one asked him if he felt left out of the tight loop that is Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. They don’t know that it’s nearly the end of Seventh Year, and he’s given himself a task. He has to find a wedge //here or there, maybe?// to fit between the three of them so that he can get in on the right side of the dividing line and change things to work for him. Maybe someday he’ll find help.


End file.
